…of angst. This is sort of my equivalent of posting while drunk, I guess 🙂 I’m mostly just tired today — didn’t sleep til late last night, still had to get up at 7 am, have been stumbling around most of the day — but the money thing just feels like a wall I’ll never get over right now instead of like an interesting challenge that I’m getting through ok.
The problem is that my disposable income and my wants reallllly do not match up right now, and some of those wants are shading over into needs. Good moisturizer (drugstore stuff makes me break out); summer sandals (my current pair is three years old and has holes in the soles, but I’m going to drag them out for another month); shorts (both pairs also three years old); work dresses/skirts (what I have is a) not enough to cover all the days I need to dress nicely and b) mostly aging and pilled/stretched/otherwise beginning to look not so nice); sneakers (about three years old, also developing holes); a big canning pot that would fit quart jars; angst-free plane tickets to see a friend over spring break.
I was so focused on retiring the student debt the last few months I had it, and I enjoyed killing it in huge chunks — $1000, gone! $2000, gone! $2500, GONE! The remaining CC debt is so small by comparison, and yet it’s feeling almost insurmountable. It’s harder than I thought it would be, mentally, to not address it at full intensity; I decided that it was a small enough amount that I could pay it off a few hundred dollars at a time while also saving for an EF and travel AND having enough left over for the random bills that come up, like the car stuff I had to do this month and the CSA share I have to pay for next month. But it’s surprisingly a big downer to look at how the balance of the CC isn’t dropping that fast even though the net worth is improving.